Did you hear about the guys who were going to France? Well they are not going anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Whats better than 32 dead babies stapled to 1 tree? - 1 dead baby stapled to 32 trees

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did Timmy mow the lawn? He didn't particularly like the way it looked Why did Timmy fall down the well? He is retarded and thirsty How did Timmy die? He had stage three lung cancer Why cant Timmy drive a car? He has been dead for three years

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A black man wearing a belt. Oh, he has a shoelace!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's red and has two legs? Half a cat!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the worst part of being a black Jew? That is a very uncommon combination of race and religion, therefore causing obvious confusion.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Two men walk into a bar. The first man says to the bartender "I'd like some h2o". The second man says "I'd like some h2o to". The second man died.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

My house is on fire I'll probably die posting this joke

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call an iphone in a puddle? Broken

thumb_up thumb_down +13

They say that there's more than one way to skin a cat...so far iv only found the one.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

In which state does the Mississippi River flow in? Liquid.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

whats the same about a donkey and a horse? They are from the same animal classification group.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

how do you get a clown off a swing. hit it with an apple in his nuts

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why did Lucy fall down? she got hit with a hammer

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a girl with one leg? Eileen

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Where did the little boy go on vacation? His mother's funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are red, Violets are blue, This is a poem, Penis knuckle.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you teach another person's son to ride a bike? You don't. Let his real parents teach him to ride a bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are black, violets are black. I'm Hellen Keller.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the homeless man buy with a dollar? Nothing. He didn't have a dollar.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Steve is getting paid $29.50 to bounce a ball Steve is getting fired monday

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops