How do you kill a retard? Give him a knife and say "who's special?"

Why did the man jump into the river? He wanted to go for a swim, but the pool was closed, so he swam in the river.

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

what do you call 4 black people pushing a car uphill? unfortunate

Two Christians are on their way to church. They stay for prayers and have a lovely lunch.

How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -None, they will pay for somebody else to do it

What did Sammy get for Christmas? Raped.

Did you know, I have a black man in my family tree? He works for a lawn service.

how did the kenyan get away from the cop He didnt he got arrested

what worse than bitting into an apple and finding a worm bitting into a worm and finding an apple

Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

Why did the girl fall off of the swings? Because I threw a refrigerator at her.

what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, you already told her twice.

What did the boy with no arms and no legs, who got cancer for Christmas, get for his Birthday? Nothing, he didn't live that long.

What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

knock knock whos there? police police who? police your house is on fire and your kid just died from broncitisand i just farted and u get a tickit because u answered the door naked

Why did the man drop one dozen long stem roses? Because he was hit by a taxi cab

I have a little dog. She likes being tossed high into the air. I need a new little dog as the last one was caught by a gust carrying here over the sound-dividing highway wall and dropped into traffic.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse says "my wife has cancer"

Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? Because it could see and hear.

When life throws you lemons, Throw grenades.

Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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