Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? The door was a loaf of bread.

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Why was the school girl called a dork. Because a whale penis is called a dork, and she identically resembles a giant aquatic dick.

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What did one dead baby say to the other dead baby? Nothing, they are both dead.

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Q:why did the guy go to the doctor? A:I dunno, he must have gone for a good reason

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What do you call a over weight woman? Fat bitch.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cancer

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THER ONCE WAS A jueny WITH A TEN FOOT WENNY AND HE WENT TO SHOW IT TO THE LADY NEXT DOOR SHE THOUGHT IT WAS A SNKE SO SHE HIT IT WITH A RAKE AND NOW ITS ONLY FIVE FOOT FOUR!

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wnna here a joke, toby limbers playing basketball

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A man tells a blonde "you are what you eat" and she replies "well, i don't think I've eaten any sexy beasts today.'

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Roses are red Violets go poo My name is Dave How bout u

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Roses? are red Violets are blue, Kangaroos like Oranges, Poems suck, Refrigerator.

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How did the fat man die? He was fed porrage until he died. Who killed the fat man? Leonardo DaVici How did Leonardo Da Vinci die? Natural causes (Actually I have no idea how Leonardo Da Vici died but if I am wrong please correct me) Thank You for your coperation.

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How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool? Determined.

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An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

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What do you call someone who explores wild cave systems? A spelunker.

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My cat just died.

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Where did little Timmy go when the bomb dropped? Everywhere.

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A priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar, but they're wearing normal people clothes, so no one notices or says anything funny.

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What were the murderer's last words before he was put to death by electric chair? "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NNNNNFHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.................................................................................................................." He then defecated in his pants.

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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How did Alice get revenge on Diane when Diane called her fat? When Alice was pregnant, she stabbed herself in the stomach and blamed it on Diane. Diane was then sent to prison for murder and received a sentence of 25 years. Alice laughed in court, and Diane was forced to commit suicide. Alice then stole Diane's husband, and she lived happily ever after.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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