When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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What's long and hard on a black man? Second Grade

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Why did Biggie Smalls eat so much dark chocolate? His doctor suggest that he eat foods high in fiber.

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A man drove up to a drive-thru. He ordered a coke, but the lady at the window spilled it on his lap. He promptly changed his clothes and accepted the lady's apology.

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What did the monkey say to the Pope and the Queen? Good evening, Your Holiness. Good evening, Your Majesty,

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, horse, we don't serve your kind here." The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse," says the bartender, "I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse, are you deaf? I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out, knocking over a stool with his tail.

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Knock Knock Hold on Im pooping.

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What did the mute person tell the deaf person? Nothing. Even if sound could emit from his vocals the impaired of hearing person would still be unable to respond unless they have taken classes to read lips. The deaf person didn't take classes nor did the mute person learn sign language.

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How did the car get a dent? Terrorists bombed the house next to it

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What is worse than being killed in a car crash? Having your girlfriend in the car with you.

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How many mentally challenged beings does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well one couldn't do it so adding more to the equation will only make it worse sir.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game...

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hey hey hey wanna hear a joke.....................................MENS IQ!!!!!!

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Why did the woman cross the road? Better yet, why is she out of the kitchen

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Why is Ray Charles always smiling? He's not, corpses rarely smile

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One fish... Two fish... Red fish... I have AIDs

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Yo mama's so white that she has to use lots of sunscreen to prevent from getting sunburned.

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Fact: Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people one will always disagree with the other nine.

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What's the sexiest thing on a farm? It depends on what you find sexy, and your personal perception of a farm.

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Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

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have you seen stevie wonder's house. no? Well nethier has he you

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What do Alzheimer patients think of the internet. Happy pi day.

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A guy walks into a bar. No one notices he has epilepsy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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