What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

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Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his forehead

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A dog walks into a bar, followed by his blind owner.

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Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

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Jake likes to have tickle parties with McCauley Culkin.

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A dog walks into a bar. The owner got a fake service dog identification and everyone really enjoyed it.

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My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Hey, you know what would be funny? A joke.

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? Trees can't jump

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What did the cat say to the dog before chasing each other You have a nice looking ass

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Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

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What do you do when your baby won't stop crying. Slit its throat

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Why did the man throw his son out the window? His house was on fire

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a horse walks into a bar. the bartender says "why the long face?". the horse answers..."i'm a horse"

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What's worse then failing a math test? Your mom getting shot

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What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

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How did the guy fall off the roof? He was pushed

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What's the difference between Jesus and a painting? It only takes one nail to hang up a painting.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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THAT'S RIGHT, BEST INVISIBLE PAINT I EVER BOUGHT. LOOK WHAT A GREAT JOB IT DID ON THIS PAGE YEAH! I RECKON IT IS THE BEST INVISIBLE PAINT I EVER DIDN'T SEE

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A white guy, a black guy, an asian guy, an indian sit together. Canada

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What happened to the young baby after her mother died It grew up got a collage degree and had a great life growing up with her dad and visiting the cemetery every year

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Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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