Q. What do mummies do when they run out of toilet paper? A. Nothing - they're dead and inanimate.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you make a dentist cry? Kill all his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Jeez Bill, how drunk was I last night? You took my pet parakeet, threw it at my daughter's piggy bank and yelled "ANGRY BIRDS!!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man walks into a bar and sees an attractive blonde. He is afraid of talking to her so he goes home and masterbates himself to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what is white on top and black on bottom Society What is black on top and white on bottom Rape

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did a kid throw a clock out the window? Because he was adopted

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A brunette child with a blond mother is crying. Why? Because his father was just mauled by a Scandinavian dragon.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

All the planets are named after gods Ours is named after dirt....

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A Mexican and an African American are in a car, who is driving? The Mexican, while the African American rides in the passenger seat.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Wanna hear the orphan joke knock knock who's there? not you parents

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did one duck say to the other? "Quack" Ducks don't talk. But if it were to say something it would probably mention how it is concerned about the fact that the majority of people on the internet don't know what ducks say to each other.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

whats worse than catching your parents having sex? having sex with your parents

thumb_up thumb_down -8

your mama so old, shes dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

If you don't see banners here, it doesn't mean they are not there...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the baby stop crying? I hit him with a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what do you call a black man in a cop car? a policeman

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What happened to the girl that thought she was a mermaid? She drowned, humans can't breathe under water.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Two Iranian men walk into a bar and order a Coke and a Lemonade. The Barman said take a seat and he'll bring them over.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Hey you must be a parking ticket, because your yellow.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Men's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -8

So, why won't the blonde date the Asian guy? Because she's afraid of commitment.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

cool story babe. now go make me a sammich.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding herpes in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops