What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

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If a red house is made out of red bricks, and a blue house is made out of blue bricks, what is a green house made out of? Green bricks.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was among thousands of men who were also from Nantucket.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

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curtis campbell has no ear lobes so he bought some milk and drank it with his cereal.

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Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Pfft. Stupid. Apples are for healthy people. Go for the ice cream. There's no worms in that.

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why couldnt the jew play basketball? He was handicapp

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What did Billy say to Jesus when he died? Nothing he went to hell. -Austin Conradt

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

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An over weight person is diagnosed with anorexia they used to be fatter

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daughter: Mum why do I have a brother mum: He not your real brother dont worry your adopted :) daughter: :'(

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One day there was 3 bears, a papa bear, a mama bear, and a baby bear. They were out swimming when suddenly a girl comes over to their house and tries to sit down. She sits on the big chair and says "too big", then she sits on the little chair and says "too small" and then sits on the medium chair and says "just right". Suddenly, the bears come back. Papa bear: "somebody has been sitting on my chair!" Baby bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair too!" Mama bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair, and she still here!" The girl says "Hi my name is Goldilocks." After about few minutes introducing each other, they ate dinner and they all had a great time.

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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why couldn't the bicycle stand up on it's own? because it was two tired

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John is at the movies, when he drops his cookie on the floor. A passer-bier accidentally steps on it as he's about to pick it up. "Sorry" says his man. "I guess that's the way the cookie crumbles" said Terry. The man then proceeds to murder Terry.

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What did the the man, the dog, and the psychiatrist talk about? The man's childhood experience losing his pet as a contributer to his symptoms of psychosis.

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What do you call a black man at school the janitor

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Nero, listen, do not try to imply that you created the Iron man method, that was developed by many people over the duration of many years in the former underground society. You seem far too educated to be the savage you claim to be, if I told you that our people will do the uttermost to see if we can fix that eye of yours and succeed, will you forgive my failure and imperfections as a leader? Look at it this way, I am a leader, not a ruler, what my followers do is up to them, but if they cannot understand that they have to pay the consequences behind their actions, they have no place within the order, as for the expression "my order" it is simply what my many followers like for me to say, not because they are unwilling to take responsibility, but as a token of praise. Our articulations and means of expressing desire and such are very much the same, have you ever been part of our order?

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Think of a number 1-10 Now add 39 Divide that by 20 Subtract two Now close your eyes.. Dark isn't it?

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Wihat's red, green, and goes 100 miles an hour? A frog in a blender!!!!!

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Two horses were discussing their racing records. The first said, "In my whole life I had won ten races." The second horse says, "Well, I've won twelve of those!" A greyhound trotting by chimes in, "Not bragging guys, but in my career, I've won twenty!" "Unbelievable!" exclaimed both horses. "It's a talking dog!"

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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Three men walk in to a bar, One ducked

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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