What did the basketball player do before he scored a basket? Shot the basket ball

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Q: If your 17 year-old-daughter is a drug addict, how many cartwheels are you going to have to do to make it to Georgia? A: The French Revolution, because your grandmothers facebook shows an 11 year-old selling Concords to a green alien, which can only mean that over 600 people watch pórn daily.

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Why did the black man have lots of money. He studied hard at school and got into a good university. He dedicated 5 years of his life working relentlessly and getting his diploma in medicine then went on to work in a private hospital as head doctor and neuro surgeon. He was very successful in his specific field of medicine. That didn't work out so after quitting his job and realizing he had wasted over 7 years of his life achieving nothing but lose of interest in his career. He then bought a lottery ticket and won 8 million dollars.

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what did the whale say when he came out of the water? BLAHHRRAHAHHAAARRRAER

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What did the priest do to the young catholic boy? Bless him.

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%3c%2fa%3e%3c%2fh3%3e alert("The Game."); %3cScR%69pt%2ffoo%3eev%61l%28%27ale%27+%27ert%28%29%27%29;

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful busness man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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What is the answer to life, universe and everything? Nothing.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Today is Valentines Day I am depressed

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What do you call a dog that acts like a cat, likes to pretend he's human, and whose name is "Moose"? A dog. His personality traits have no effect on the changing of his species.

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99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer, take one down pass it around, 98 bottles of beer on the wall. 10 minutes into the song one man succumbs to alcohol poisoning.

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Rebecca black walked into a bar. She was then escorted out because she is under-aged.

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Why can't jokes spit?

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What's funny about Magic Johnson's T-Cell count? Nothing. He has AIDS, and it's a degenerative disease, that will eventually result in death. There's nothing funny about that.

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whats funnier than womens rights? ottos weight

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Whats funnier than a pile of dead babies nothing child abuse is not a funny matter.

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What do you say to a black man in the morning? Good morning

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Roses are blue Violets are red I got this backwards Carpets are nice

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A little boy walks into a bar its fine, he's over 21, he just looks younger.

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Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

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Kid One: "Hey, you! Do you know how to spell "I CUP'?" Kid Two: " Sure, F-A-G....G-O-T..." Kid One: ".........."

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A woman takes a shortcut through a dark alley. She is raped, robbed, and murdered. Her family mourns her death.

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What did the mother say to her son? I have Leukemia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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