Okay, you seem sincere enough, thing is that I trust you, but your buddies, if you can vouch for them, then I at least know that you are putting your stepmother in danger if you decide to cover for your friends, besides you being such an emotional crybaby kinda gets me into trusting you again.

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A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

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A bear woke up from his annual hibernation to find that his stomach is growling. "I sure am hungry." the sleepy bear said. So he found some berries, but spit them out. "These berries are far too bitter." the playful bear said. He then found some honey, however was soon bombarded with a swarm of bees. "That honey is good, but not that good." the jolly bear said. He then stumbled upon a cabin. "I wonder if there is any food in here..." the curteous bear wondered. The events that followed are now reffered to by the locals as the May 20th Massacre. While no witnesses survived, the police reports depict that the Martinez family, a young family of 7 enjoying their memorial day weekend in their New Hampshire cabin, was brutally slain by a blood-thirsty animal who tracked each of them throughout the house in a period of approximately 45 minutes.

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What's as red as a Lobster? A Lobster

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Why did the gorilla have big nostrils? Because it was a trait passed on to him from his biological father.

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A paraplegic walks into a bar.

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Why did the black man eat lucky charms? Because it was breakfast time and he was hungry.

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What's black and doesn't work? Half of Detroit.

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Yes or No? You're wrong because it was both.

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What did the orphan boy get for Christmas? Exactly what he had asked for because UNICEF do a wonderful job.

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i have a pet duck, when i take it a bath i use cold water, if i use hot water it and i drop a carrot in the tub it will think im cooking it.

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Why couldn't Johnny drive? He doesn't have arms or legs. Why didn't Johnny have arms or legs? Johnny is a potato

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Why did the toddler fall over? He's an Iraqi child and has been shot in both legs, being readied for a public execution for fighting on the opposing side.

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why did the black guy fall off a cliff? because he was a zombie

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What did the blonde say when she fell out of a tree? Nothing, she shattered her trachea upon landing.

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Q: How do you make Osama Bin Ladin happy? A: Take him out to a nice seafood dinner free of charge.

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People thought hitler said "I want to burn the jews" he really said "I want a glass of juice".

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Roses are red, violets are blue. my Mom is a hooker.

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jeanna:fu** jack:did u just say fu** jeanna:jew? jack:fu** u jew

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What is a light shade of beige? My bedroom wall.

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what is the worst thing a priest could do to a little boy? brutally murder him

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ask me what my temperpedic bed is like. ''whats it like?'' i dont know ive never had one actully.

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I like that, yet I wonder if our subconscious knows what it is what we seek, maybe we need to tell ourselves that we will find happiness, and then the mind leads us there.

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Roses are red, Violates are blue. I have an erection, and its lasted more then three hours

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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