What's the best Anti-Joke ever? I don't know, but it's NOT this one.

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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You: I have a question Person: Yes You: Do you have an answer?

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how do you break up with someone lightly and not hurt their feeling I dont want to hurt your feeling but i hate you

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Make it? Sodium levels? Means he is eating right? Its not ADHD, the chatter is his way of coping with pain and what I believe is PTSD (dont tell him, he would get mad, if he gets that blank stare while chatting a lot its like he is back in the past for a while, please distract him out of it, but dont tell him anything about that. Give him what he wants, its a secret but Nero masters hypnosis, and he pretty much knows himself to a point far beyond others know themselves, he can sense lies and knows how others are feeling just by the movement of their pupils, their eyes, their breath, the tonality of their voice and lots of things like that, I think thats some sort of hypnosis as well, he uses ritalin in order to focus and shut off pain receptors mentally and stuff I don't understand, I am sure he would not ask for it unless he knew he could take it, he has literally performed surgery on himself before, the kind that would kill anyone unless under strong anesthetics. (removed bullets from the back of his skull, people say its just a myth, but I was there so I know its true) Please trust me on this as weird as it might sound.

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Why was the sock sad? Impossible. Socks dont have emotions.

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- Mommy look, I built a sandcastle! - Who cares, you have cancer.

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Hazel and Gus are two teenagers who share an acerbic wit, a disdain for the conventional, and a love that sweeps them on a journey. Their relationship is all the more miraculous given that Hazel's other constant companion is an oxygen tank, Gus jokes about his prosthetic leg, and they met and fell in love at a cancer support group.

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if you have two gay people, would their kid be gay too? oh wait....

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Have you heard the one about Tony Hawk's brother Mike? Neither has he, considering Tony Hawk only has a brother named Steve.

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What did the black guy say when he failed his math test? Crap, I failed my math test!

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I have a little dog. She likes being tossed high into the air. I need a new little dog as the last one was caught by a gust carrying here over the sound-dividing highway wall and dropped into traffic.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock Knock. I said who's there? Knock Knock. WHO THE FUCK'S THERE, GODDAMNIT? Knock Knock. PLEASE STOP IT STOP IT OH GOD STOP IT Knock Knock SWEET DEAR JESUS GOD CHRIST STOPSTOPOHGODSTOPITNOW Knock Knock. FORGODSSAKECOMEIN. Hello, Mark. Oh, hi, Steven.

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Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

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An American, a German, and a Mexican walk quickly into a room. They were late for a work meeting.

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There was a asian jew and a black man standing at a bus stop wht do you call the Freinds

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The little girl asks her father "Daddy why is santa fat?" "you have to exist to lose weight" he answered

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What did Batman tell Robin before he got into the Batmobile? "Hey Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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Your mother is so fat that I would call her quite fat indeed.

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Who pushed joe off the building? Nobody. joe hated his life and wanted to die

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple-sized tumor in your colon.

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A man walked into a bar making it immediately apparent that he had no future in competitive limbo.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him.

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9/11

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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