A man goes to the doctor's office. The doctor says, "I have some bad news, and some worse news. The bad news is you have alzheimer's. The worse news is you have cancer." The man breaks down in tears.

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When life gives you lemons, you are most likely in the fruit section of the grocery store.

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Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He calls the right number.

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lets go to the beach beach lets go get away story of josh browns life

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If you put two black men in an empty room, what will they do? They will most likely try to figure out why they have been put in such a confusing scenario. Then one of the black men will suggest the possibility that maybe they are being used as a subject of a joke. The other black man agrees then they both hang themselves since they have no other purpose in life.

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Easter? A: Diabetes

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What do you call a plane in shining armor? A knight flight.

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Q:Why did the little girl jump in the pool and drown? A:because she didn't know how to swim

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar. The rabbi says "ow my head"

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I once did __________ (went to Hawaii, drank a whole gallon of beer, etc. ), but then I woke up. Works with anything, and people will laugh.

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How do you find the richest man in Mexico? Go through government records and tax files and find the person with the highest salary

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You wanna know what's out of this world? The moon

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Why doesn't the fat kid have any friends? Because he is fat.

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If life gives you melons, you have dyslexia.

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Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell off and bumped his head Mama called the doctor an the doctor said, "I am calling Child Protection Services."

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The 80's called. They need their couch back.

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Did you hear phonsi was Gay? I just found out too, he walked into the diner and said, "ive got AAIIIIIDS."

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Why did Larry the Cable Guy say "Git R Dun"? Because he thought it was funny, and so did a bunch of other people for some reason.

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Q: My hands are queefing vaginas A: Milk isn't wearing underwears

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If little Timmy buys 80 candy bars and eats 67, how many candy bars does he have left? Diabetes. Timmy has diabetes. So he was disowned.

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Why was Dr Who unable to travel back in time using the TARDIS? Because it's just a television prop. It isn't a real time machine.

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I pregnant woman wakes in the night because she had a mis-carriage.

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what is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

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Why did the kid fall off his bike? His mum threw a fridge at him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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