Roses are red, violets are blue, you have a disease, it's called cancer.

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Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

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What happened to the homosexual jiggalo? He ended up getting aids from having anal sex with various men which is not the best idea because the anus where poop comes from.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares? Seriously, who, on this planet, bothers to care about such a trivial matter? Is it really that important to you that must be given clarification as to why a random bird species just happened to cross a road? Will knowing benefit your life in some fashion? Well I'd like to know how. Ha! Perhaps you feel that, if you have the answer revealed to you, it will give you extra guidance of some sort in raising a chicken as a pet, or training a chicken to perform tricks for an animal contest, or something along those lines. Well I'm afraid you are out of luck, as I will not tell you. By reading this passage, you are wasting so much precious time. As you keep reading, seconds pass and you only waste more. You could be doing so much more with your life right now. Instead, you could be studying a topic that you might need to be knowledgeable about in the future. You could be shopping for goods. You could be painting a nice picture, writing a short story, or composing a piece of music. You could be getting exercise, or cleaning your house, or spending time with family, or even raising money for charity. There are countless meaningful tasks that you could be carrying out which would benefit you and others around you, including those who are less fortunate than you. But no. Instead you choose to do nothing, reading useless and forgettable anti-jokes on a crummy website, with a strange, fruitless desire of knowing why a chicken crossed a road. You must have such a sad life. You know what? I pity you, so I have decided that I will tell you why the chicken crossed the road. But only if you want to know. You might not want to know by this point. Do you still want to know? Are you sure you do? Are you really, really sure? Because I'm gonna tell you, regardless. Just keep reading! Don't take your eyes off the screen! You will find out exactly why the chicken crossed the road in 3... 2...1... and here we go! Ready, kids? The chicken crossed the road because... because... because... whoops, actually, I forgot. Sorry.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken saw some potential food across the street.

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Q-What's the good thing about dating a girl volleyball player? A- She's a Girl

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What did the Zen Buddhist say in the hamburger store? He said, "Make me one with everything."

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What did John name his dog? Doggy

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Yo mamas so fat she is obese

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What do you call an Amerindian who finished medical school? A doctor.

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the next time someone says "yolo" im going to pull out my shotgun and reply "sadly..."

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Why did the really unfunny man buy AntiJoke The Book??? It was a good deal and only $9.99.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Nothing, you heartless asshole.

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What do you call somebody who can't walk? Handicapped

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How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

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Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

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Dad, if I say shit or somethin... Dad: FALCOWN PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANCH!

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How do you make a mailman cry? Kill his family.

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why was Michael Jackson at K-Mart? They offer high quality items at a reasonable price and lay-away during the holidays.

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two muffins are in an oven and one turns to the other and says,'' hey, it sure is hot in here''. and the other one says," holy crap, its a talking muffin!''

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have cancer, Herp Derp

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An under aged girl walks into a bar. She couldn't have done so without a fake ID and early development.

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Mike lost his arms in a car accident. Knock knock Who's there? Not Mike.

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Why do black people like watermelons so much? They don't. It's just a stereotype.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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