Why did the man die when he saw the light? It was a strobe light and he died from an epileptic seizure

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walked into a bar. The Englishman ordered a lager, the Irishman ordered a Guiness, and the Scotsman ordered tap water.

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Q: What did the forgetful person say to the other? A:

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How do you stop a dog from digging up your garden? Every time it does so, shout at the dog so it knows it has misbehaved. Keep doing this and the dog will eventually understand the error of its ways.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

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Knock knock. This is a no soliciting residence, and I do not open my door for strangers.

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A blind man walks into a bar. The next day he goes out and buys a new seeing eye dog.

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Q:Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A:Sea creatures seeking shelter and food

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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Q. Why did the television set turn on? A. Because someone pressed the power button.

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Why was the black man kicked out of the restaurant? Blatant racism was still very prevalent at that time and place.

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Why did the wheel fall of the car?? Cause you can't fit 10 pancakes inside of a doghouse.

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How many squirrels does it take to screw out a light bulb? None because squirrels lack the strength and mind set to screw out a light bulb.

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Why did little polly fall off her her roof? Because she saw a ice-cream van

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Knock knock It's open, come in

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why did the car go to the bathroom? it had gas.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, there is no reason for a chicken to need to cross a road.

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Two cows were in a feild, one said "moo" and the other said "i was going to say that!"

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Where did Sudie go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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Kys

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What's worse than finding gum on your shoe? Being molested by a sea urchin.

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What's a pirate's favorite video game? Pirates lived in a time before such technology existed

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SEX IS LIKE MATH ADD THE BED SUBTRACT THECLOTHES DIVIDE THE LEGS AND PRAY U DONT MULTIPLY!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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