What do you call a dear with no eyes? A no-idear

Why does Tim Tebow kneel and pray after there's a positive outcome of the previous play? No, seriously, why does he do that?

Why do black people have nightmares? Because we killed the only one with a dream.

How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

Why Do cats purr when you pet them? I'm actually asking a question there I don't know why.

What color do you wear if you're in the NAVY? Beige, white, sometimes camouflage - really, it depends on your rank and the situation.

Why was the penguin popular? He cuts himself.

What do you say to a disabled man in a lift? Have a nice day.

Two friends are sitting on a couch watching TV. One friend accidently turned on a pornography channel. The other friend felt awkward and went home.

Knock knock Who's there Your Mother Come in

How long does it take for a black woman to have a shit. 9 months.

I got pussies, cocks, asses and bitches. In my animal store.

Why was the blonde fired from her job at the M&M's factory? Her Masters Degree in electrical engineering made her overqualified for the position she had.

What is blue and has wheels? A disabled Smurf!

People with Alzheimers will not remember this joke

What did the kitty say when it's owner called him over? Nothing. It's owner killed him.

How many like does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? As many as it takes.

What's a Hillbilly's last words? I won't be here much longer, so take care of the kids. I love you.

A blonde, brunette, and redhead live in the same neighborhood. They are Desperate Housewives

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Does it really matter?

A tiger walks into bar. He orders a drink and leaves. The tiger's name was Tony the tiger," It was just a man wearing a costume for the cereal company.

Why did the mum scream at the boy? Because he was being stupid

How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

Why wasn't the unplugged computer on?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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