What's one very bad way to injure yourself? Smashing your head against a metal surface

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Two dinosaurs go to a theme park. On the way home they contemplate that they didn't really enjoy themselves. They decide to buy some ice cream to cheer them up a bit. They are severely frustrated by the lack of fun they had for the money they paid. Then they go to sleep. I completely forgot how this joke went, but your mom's a slut.

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what would happen if you took all the veins out of your body and laid them out tip to tip? you die

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Once upon of time, there was an ugly duckling. It was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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two scientists line up a frog at a line and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off one front leg and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off the other front leg and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off a rear leg and tell it to jump it jumps 2 feet they cut off its last leg and tell it to jump it doesn't move they tell it to jump again it doesn't move the scientists come to a conclusion: frogs with no legs...cant hear

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Why did the cow go over the hill? He didn't. He was pinned and slaughtered in a private owned animal torture facility.

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Why couldn't Billy the bird fly? He was an ostrich, ostriches can't fly.

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How many victims of the holocaust does it take to screw in a light bulb? Zero. They're all dead you sick fuck.

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I'm getting sick of holocaust jokes can't you Nazi Anne Frankly I'm sick of it

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Yo momma's so poor, she needs to work 2 jobs to support her family.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Orange! -door opens- You fucking come over here selling oranges one more time Julio and I will have you deported.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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A disabled man walked into a- That can't be right

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Why can't black people get sunburned? Natural selection allowed ancient Africans to develop a darker skin shade that would counter strong UV rays.

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knock knock? who's there.......... MEEEE :D hehe

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caoimhin you satan of CHRIST IM A DICIPLE OF CHRIST UNLIKE YOU

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there was a little girl walking through a park. then she was kidnapped and most likely raped and sold to a foreign country.

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why did the black man go to court he was a lawyer it's is job

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Friends are like trees. They fall when hit multiple times with an axe.

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Why did the man open up a umbrella? Because it was raining..

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why did the tortoise cross the road? it does not matter, it got hit by a vehicle and died on impact.

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A barman walks into a bar. He works there.

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What did Sally get for chirstmas? Cancer

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What's been hit millions of times? A woman married to an abusive husband.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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