- Anti Joke

A man shaves at least 3 times a week, yet he has the longest beard in town, how is that possible? He shaves his head because he's embarrassed about his rampant and patchy balding.

Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was shot in the head. Plus the fact that it was his first attempt on a bike made it highly unlikely to succeed anyway.

Chuck Norris tried to return some jeans to Target and when they didn't give him his money he kickeed them in the face.

How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

Did you hear about the one about the man who walked into the library? He likes reading

A smart kid just answered a question in class, a blonde girl then says "Nerd, your always answering all the questions". The teacher then says "Hey thats not nice, he could be your boss one day." The smart kid quickly replies "Highly unlikely, i do not plan on being a pimp when i grow up".

What do a black man and a bench have in common? The black man can sit in the bench.

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

Did you hear about the guy that lost the whole left side of his body? Well, he's all right.

What is the difference between Jesus and jackAwhole lota fat

What did the priest tell his son? Nothing, priests can't have children.

two penguins are hanging out in Antartica. the one looks to the other an says "man its really cold out" the other quicky waddles away because of the strange alien sound its friend just made

Joe: Hey, why are your counters all red and your blender looks broken? Me: The same reason why Mrs. Johnson's baby is missing. ajl

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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How many people does it take to screw a light bulb? One, it's all the sex they can get.

Why did the black man buy a gun? because he wanted to go hunting.

What's the coolest place to be in the solar system? Uranus.

rose's are red violets are blue I have touretts blblblblblblblblbbl

You- I came up with a new word! Friend- What is it? You- Plagiarism.

Whats brown and sticky? A stick.

ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE I LIKE TITS TITS

Why did the racist guy die? Because the black guy stabbed him with a fork.

How do you get a black man out of a tree? Politely say "Hey you, get out of the tree."

Lil Wayne's song 6 foot 7 foot was named after my wewe

What day comes after Friday? Saturday, and Sunday comes afterwards.