two scientists line up a frog at a line and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off one front leg and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off the other front leg and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off a rear leg and tell it to jump it jumps 2 feet they cut off its last leg and tell it to jump it doesn't move they tell it to jump again it doesn't move the scientists come to a conclusion: frogs with no legs...cant hear

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the KFC man was chasing him.

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WELL YOU ARE ALL A ROOF. So pie, my dearest Adam. Like a butthole.

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what would happen if you took all the veins out of your body and laid them out tip to tip? you die

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There once was a man from Nantucket Who got his head stuck in a bucket He yanked and he yowled, he hollered and howled, Then gave up and grumbled, "Aw, I guess I'll have to go to the doctor."

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Once upon of time, there was an ugly duckling. It was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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Uh no, yogurt as in the bacteria that they add to milk in order to make the finished product yogurt. You see, while the effect is seen in twins (for example if one twin gets raped, the other gets a fucking sore ass) Sorry, I am still under trance here myself, you get out of it, I am gonna have some fun, go splash some water on your face. I mean people go like "woah that is impossible it only happens in rare cases and so on right?" Fun stuff: Yogurt, you can seal yogurt in a steel container miles away after separating its culture (basically having a colony living together and then moving them away from each other as in 30000 kilometers and sealing them in soundproof safe`s and whatnot. Feed one half of the yogurt, and the other one far far away begins munching into thin air, now keep the food close to the yogurt, and the bacteria will begin "begging for it" (as in when baby chicks notice the parent has arrived with food), and so will the culture of yogurt sealed in a safe 30000 miles away. Why? Living in similar states, brings a natural connection, we are attracted to similarities, and as far as the human knowledge of the LAW of attraction goes, distance is not a factor, look it up, or just believe me.

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How do you kill Chuck Norris? Shoot him in the face.

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A dog walks into a bar and the bartender asks him "What can I get for you?" The dog replies "1 beer please." shocked at the dogs English the bartender sprints out of the bar in terror

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What's one very bad way to injure yourself? Smashing your head against a metal surface

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Noses are red, Lips are blue, I have hypothermia, So do you.

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Two dinosaurs go to a theme park. On the way home they contemplate that they didn't really enjoy themselves. They decide to buy some ice cream to cheer them up a bit. They are severely frustrated by the lack of fun they had for the money they paid. Then they go to sleep. I completely forgot how this joke went, but your mom's a slut.

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Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was on a diet

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a gay guy is in a club, from across the room he sees another attractive man with now shirt and he gets an erection.

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What's the difference between the Hulk and the Thing? One's green.

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What did Kony say to the children right before he took them Come with me you f******* n*****

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who lives a pineapple under the sea? a proper spazztwat.

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How do you get your dog to stop peeing on the floor? SHOOT IT!!!

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it!

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Why is the black man in the ghetto? He is a cop and is trying to solve a murder that was committed a couple days ago.

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What did the flower say to the flowerpot? Nice weather we're having

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Haiku's are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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Why did Hitler kill six million Jews? Why not?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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