What's the quickest way to a man's heart? A knife.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Rhyming is hard, Zebra.

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If you watch the titanic backwards, its really about a magical ship which saves peoples lives!

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Elephants can jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

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You know what rhymes with sloth? Rape.

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Why did the depressed man commit suicide? Its typical of a depressed person.

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What's better than having sex ? Having sex and being rich.

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Why did Rihanna sing "to the left, to the left"? Because people usually sing in songs

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What is a frogs favorite drink? Water.

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What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

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When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

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So, a man walks into a doctor's office. He says, "Doctor, it hurts when I bent my arm like this." The doctor tells the man that it is simply a sprained muscle after thorough examination.

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What's worse than finding 7 dead babies in a bin? Finding one is missing.

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A horse walks into a bar. bar tender: "Why the long face" *bu dum tss" horse: "My wife died of terminal cancer."

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What do you call an giraffe? Well, you should probably call it a giraffe if you want people to think you are literate and know your grammar.

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Two pies where sitting in a oven when one of the pies says: God damn it's hot in here. The other pie screams out loud: HOLY SHIT A TALKING PIE!

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Why couldn't the dumbass go to colledge? He couldn't open the door.

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot lost control of the plane.

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roses are red violets are blue i have aids and so do you happy valentines day!

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven has an extra penis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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