- Anti Joke

Why did sally drop her drink? Because she was hit by a bus. Knock Knock. "whos there?" Not sally.

How do you stop birds from building nests in your grill? You turn the grill on

"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "James" "James who?" "What the heck?You forgot me already?Its your bestfriend dude.Now let me in." ~Lil

Q: How do you kill a Brazilian Blind Electric Ray? A: Killing endangered species is a crime.

Q: What did the clam say to the postman? Moral: "Hey its me the worlds only talking clam! How you doing dude!"

Duncan walks into a bar and is greeted by his friends Eric and Tom. Duncan tells them that his wife left and took the kids. Duncan then goes home and hangs himself.

Q:Why are babies and spaghetti alike? A:They both stick to the wall when cooked.

Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man with no feet... ...then I made fun of him and laughed.

What is hard, long, moist, and flesh colored? A hotdog you dirty, dirty bastard!

A seal walks into a club.

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Since when is it any of your business? Cant we live in a world where chickens can cross the road freely without having there motives questioned?

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What's green, yellow, and red? A traffic light

A drunk guy walks into a car

Yo mama's so white that she has to use lots of sunscreen to prevent from getting sunburned.

What did one hand say to the other? Nothing, you fool, hands don't talk.

what is black and white and red all over? a group of people of mixed races playing paintball.

What happens when you go swimming in the rain? You get wet.

Whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? One is blonde and one is brunette.

What did the fat confused man say? I am confused.

What did the man say to the cat? Nothing. He doesn't have a cat.

Knock Knock Who's there? Your friend, George. Oh hi George, I'll be there in a sec.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops