Me: What day is it? Rebecca Black: Tuesday

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What do you call a magic owl? HOO-DINI!

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My friend thought that an onion was the only food that could make you cry, so I threw a watermelon at his face.

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roses are red violets are blue i had sex with your dog

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Where would a 65 year old man find a young, attractive woman who would take any interest in him? Very likely in a hospital, but that would be a professional interest, not a sexual one.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. His family is struggling financially and his children are severely malnourished. If he wasn't an alcoholic, he could afford healthcare for his family and move into a better neighborhood. But he's not, so they will die a long, painful death.

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once, my friend said hi. i said hi back

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Rachel: Wanna hear a conundrum? Robby: Sure! Racheal: Vampire Value card.

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Two muffins in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says nothing, because muffins cannot talk.

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Why is Evan short? He was born that way.

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What's worst than your computer breaking? Your face

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Why don't Catholics allow people to wear condoms? Because they get stuck in the alter boys braces.

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if got a joke if fogot it

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What's the difference between a bird and a wheel? They both fly, I lied about the wheel.

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What is the biggest lie of 2011? "I do"- Kim kardashian

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What do your mum and dad have in common Not much your dads dead

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What would Abraham Lincoln do if he were alive today? Scream and scratch at the lid of his coffin.

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I walk up in the morning feeling like pdidy who's pdidy grab my glasses out the door I have no glasses girl going to hit the city how do I hit the city ugh this confersasion is over song hmmff

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He had no conscience and therefore was not able to backup the very reason that he crossed the road.

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Why was the hiker upset? He was plummeting 1,500 feet to the ground after tripping on a rock too close to a cliff.

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.Ttwo guys walked into a bar. The third one ducked.

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your so homosexual you go to a gay bar every couple of weeks so you get the social acceptance you need.

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How does Fred drink his milk? -computer

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What does and elephant and me have in common. Everything, I am an elephant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops