Why did the woman put super glue on her sun glasses? Because she stepped on them and they broke.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I'm not wearing underwear. Why? Because I have built in underwear. :)

thumb_up thumb_down -7

id give my right arm to be ambidextrous

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did they save the man in a burning building? To arrest him for arson.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Hey connor and brett its ben, you are both at my house

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse then says nothing because horses cannot talk, only humans can talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was Osama Bin Laden so hard to find? His hiding place was difficult to come across.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

yo mama is so fat she broke a branch off the family tree

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

If 2 wrongs make a right and 2 rights make a wrong, then when you have 4 rights=2 wrongs, you have a true statement. If you have 8 rights = 4 wrongs, you have a verified statement.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She is a woman ... Who is blind, deaf and mute Therefore considered a danger to herself And those around her.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

There are two blonds in a car, the driver to looks to the other blond (carelessly taking in her surroundings) They crash and the passenger is grusomely killed to the point of not being recognized and the driver later commits suicide from the guilt and pending law suit.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Two lifelong friends walk into the locl Bar and each order a Beer. " So how's life treating ya?" Phil replies, " Well Doug, I've got Stage Four Lung Cancer. I'm going to Die, remember?" Unfortunately, Doug doesn't remember because Doug has a Brain Tumor.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

There was a man posting an anti-joke... He had no life

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's long, hard and full of seamen? A submarine.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it Biting into a baby and finding a worm in it

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb? It would probably be the court janitor who was responsible for that job, rather than the lawyers.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Rebecca Black's career.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

WHY ARE WOMEN SO HARD TO SLEEP WITH? Because the men are always hard while sleeping with them

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do a duck and a tricycle have in common? They both have wheels. Except for the duck.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

You are so down to earth, and never confuse that with "simple minded".

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whats white and can kill you if it falls out of a tree? A refridgerator

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops