How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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Why do thieves shower before undertaking a robbery? Probably part of their morning routine.

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No soap radio

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Whats worse than having a worm in your apple? Having one in your intestins.

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What do you call a mother cow? Moooom

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Why did the bald man lose his hair no not cancer obviously AIDS.

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Why did the black man go to jail? Because he committed a criminal offense.

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I put my baby in a microwave.

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Q - How do you call black people driving in a black car on the black road, then falling off the black cliff into the black water? A - An unfortunate accident.

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Got a card in the mail from my estranged uncle today. Yep.

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Yo momma's so fat, that she got baptised in Sea World.

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Your mom is so old that she most likely will die soon.

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why was the man scared of the tree because it was shady

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Whats the difference........ Between a duck?

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A horse walks into a bar The bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says nothing, because he's a horse The bartender soon relizes there is a horse in his bar, and calls animal control

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Old Mother Hubbard Went to the cupboard, To give the poor dog a bone: When she came there, The cupboard was bare, And so the poor dog had none. So Old Mother Hubbard was reported for animal cruelty

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Hey, what do you call Sarah Palin? A Republican.

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Why was the Asian woman late for work? She was raped.

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Q:What the difference between a piano and a guitar A: Nothing, there both instruments and i lied about the difference

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did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he's all right now

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic and i am too

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs? A: Disabled.

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Q. What's white, has an orange bill, and looks like a swan? A. a swan

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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