i know leaves are green because of chlorophyll but i don't know how to get a mortgage this is the kind if shit your parents pay for

what did the homeless man get for Christmas? nothing.

Have you seen Helen Keller's new car? Neither has Stevie Wonder.

What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

Roses are red Violets are blue i have a gun get in the van

Knock Knock. There was no answer.

wanna here a joke? you.

Q: What do you call an exact duplicate of Homer Simpson who's been enhanced with numerous special powers and a strength-boosting inducer among other beneficial additions? A: A mobidly overweigth individual who hasn't realized what the phrase, "Go on a diet", even denotes/implies.

What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Dead.

A guy walks into a bar. After only 10 minutes, he leaves. The bar closes in 10 minutes.

Stevie Wonders said to his friend, "Have you seen my house?" "No" "Neither have I"

why would a man mistake a watermelon for AK-47? i dont know. The man probably has mental issues.

How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

What happens when u mix water and soda? You get watery soda

Why do black people have nightmares? Because we killed the only one with a dream.

Knock Knock. Who's there? You Know. You Know who?.......GOODBYE!

What's worse than losing your phone? 9/11

Whats more dangerous then a man with a gun? two men with guns.

Whats the difference between Jesus and the Pope. Jesus died 2 thousand years ago

What's worse than this That :(

What's Green and invisible? This cabbage --------------------------->>>>>

knock knock! who's there? Jim Jim who? Jim Goldenbach

How do you make a little boy cry? Slap the cookie out of his hand.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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