What did George Washington say to his men before they got on a boat? Men, get on the boat

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dickdickvdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdick

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because its rayseans favorite number

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Knock knock Who's There Sally Sally who? Sally who .got hit with a fridge and fell off a tree because I have no arms. Sorry, I do not know you.

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A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee and a 1 lb. package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, “You must be single.” The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict’s intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said “Well, you know what, you’re absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?” The drunk replied, “Cause you’re ugly.”

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I'm gay Mr Goodwin

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Guy A: Why is 6 scared of 7? Guy B: Because 7, 8, 9? Guy A: No, numbers don't have feelings Guy C: That's so dumb Guy A: Hey you know what, this is an A and B conversation so... Guy C: So C your way out? Guy D: Yeah, before D and E come and F U up! Guy E: Are you guys high or something? Guy F: Dude, I'm a girl, F stand for female (Author): Oops sorry Girl F: Thanks Guy G: Mind Blown O_O

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I like my coffee how I like my women Without a penis

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Your mother is so classy, when I asked her to order at a fast food drive through she decided to park the car a eat inside.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" Not Sally because she has no arms ~Sally jokes

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In which state does the Mississippi River flow in? Liquid.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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John had 50 candy bars and he ate 45 what does he have...... Diabeaties

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How did Debbie get a black eye? Because her dad asked her to take off her pants and she refused so he beat her

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Q: What is brown and sticky and often found in the grass? A: A stick.

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What's the one game that black people are good at? Flashlight tag.

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what's white and sticky semen

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What does Adolf Hitler hate more than Jews? Nothing.

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what's the only thing funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? The look on the mom's face.

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How did the rock cross the road? It didn't cause it's a rock.

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Q:What did the duck say to the other duck A:We are both ducks

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What glows in the dark and is really annoying? A glow in the dark chimpanzee

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What did the bride do on her wedding day? Get married.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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