- I got kicked out of the library today. - why? - because I put the women's rights book in the fiction section

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a man touches girls butt ...... she sharts her pants

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How do all Asians look? With their eyes.

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What do Michael Jordan and Michael Jackson have in common? The same first name.

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what word starts with 'p' and ends in 'orn'? popcorn you sickos

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Snapple Fact #1 -slaves made life easier

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A fireman walks into a bar. Everyone has burned alive already, and he's too late to save them.

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What do you call a house full of Mexicans? A house

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There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

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Why did the the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't be late for his annual check up at the clinic across the street.

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A bloke walks into a bar. He doesn't say 'ouch' because it was a public house and not a hard surfaced object as you may have thought initially

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Q:How do you get better at boxing? A:Get a bigger package Daniel W. Schnurr

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How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

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Knock knock Whos there? Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior jesus christ?

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Why was the family sad? Their house burnt down.

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What is a mean thing to say to Stephen Hawking? Please take a seat.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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An Asian, white, and a black man decide to play Russian Roulette. The Asian goes first and shoots himself in the head. The white man picks up the gun for his turn. The black man runs down the street screaming. Cops see him and the white man holding the gun, both are sent to jail for life for the murder of their friend.

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Tell me you're a rapist. You're a rapist. This joke makes no sense. Mashed potatoes.

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How many Woman does it take to change a lightbulb? none they had a back up lamp

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Two cats are sat on a window ledge. One cat looks to the other and says "Meoww".

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How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall It depends on how hard you throw them Why did Jane fall off the swing She has no arms Why did Jack drop his ice cream cone He got hit by a bus Did you know that if you pretend to eat salt you can actualy taste it Do this in public. Why was 6 afraid of 7 Numbers can't think This is the original anti joke A man walked into a bar he is an alcoholic and is distroying his family. Fin a penny pick it up and all the day you will have good luck Until you get hit with a car door. A man is SCUBA diving when he is almost out of air so he takes one breath an holds it to the surface The trip is so long that his lungs explode do to a change in pressure so he died.

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Q: What's so special about my Ferrari? A: It was painted with babies

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Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a M.afia boss so they put him in prison.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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