An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Where am I

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What's worse than a dead baby in a barrel? A dead baby in 8 barrels.

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Why did a 36 year old Asian man stop in the middle of raping someone A: He realized that what he was doing was immoral and that it could scar someone for the rest of there lives and that he could serve a sentence of up to 35 years which would mean he would miss out on the special offers that QVC has to offer during this time

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N-E Pats never cheated

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What did Harold homeless man get for his Birthday? after several years of a meth abuse Harold lost contact with his family. As a result Harold received nothing but an extra bowl of soup at his local soup kitchen.

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Dude, that's not banana ice cream...

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The awkward when you didn't actually say moment.

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Run, Run, As fast as you can, You can't catch me, I'm in a car.

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Chuck Norris." "Chuck Norris who?" "NOBODY SAYS 'CHUCK NORRIS WHO'!!!"

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what do you do if you see a black man covered in hot greece on the floor of the bus shelter? call an ambulance...

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Why did the boy have pink skin at night? Because he did not put on a sufficient amount of sunscreen that morning.

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What do you tell your dad if he constantly gripes about his balls? He's got testicular cancer and he's going to die a horrible painful death.

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What's better then a bad anti joke? A Good anti joke.

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whats worse then being married to your dog eating your dog out

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Dubstep = a computer with a noisy virus.

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How do you kill Glenn Campbell? Stab him with a screwdriver.

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lets bomb africa

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How do u save a black person from drowning? Take ur foot off the back of there head

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How do you catch a unique animal? You get professional hunters to catch the animal.

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Why did Justin Bieber bieber his bieber? Because Bieber biebers his bieber when his bieber need a bieber bieber. BIEBER

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Why'd Sally fall of the swing? Sally's a fish.

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Why did they bury the firefighter behind the hill? Because he was dead.

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Want to hear a joke You're Adopted

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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