how did the man jump over the mountain? it was a small mountain and he had a trampoline

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Obese penguin. It died of a heart attack.

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what did the boy say to the alien? ET i will protect you. The alien slaps him for being stupid

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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Why did the Soviet plane crash? It was joseph Stallin in the air.

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Why couldnt the pirate get into the movies? Because it was rated pg-13 and his parents didnr likw him watching that

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What colour are blackberries? Purple.

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Q: Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench. A: A bench is an object and a mexican is a human being.

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how do you save a baby from drowning? Take your foot off the back of its head.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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Why are all black people fast? They aren't its a stereotype.

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What did one dolphin say to the other after watching a banana dance with an afro. My pancreas was replaced with a mango.

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What do you call a man having sex with his own mother. - Gross.

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If you play The Binding of Isaac backwards, it's about a boy who summons Satan in hell and ascends multiple floors and eventually revives him mom by sucking in tears. He eventually becomes less of a monster until going back to his home and living hapily with his mother, completely forgetting anything had ever happened.

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LOL

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Why are there so many little girls falling off swing jokes? Because you tuch youself at night.

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What is funnier than 24 69

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Roses are red Violets are blue Its 2 in the morning Go the f+%& to sleep.

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Roses are black. Violets black. Guns are black. My van is black.

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Q. What do you call a gay bar with no bar stools? A. A gay bar

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Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

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How many immature teenagers does it take to change a light bulb? Ya mum.

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Kevin: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl urinate? Bob: Because it's extinct? Kevin: No you idiot! The P is silent! Pterodactyl: RAARRGHH! (eats Bob)

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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