your mom is so ugly that she was made fun of in highschool so much that she now has social issues and a fear of close relationships which is why she left you and your father at age 5

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wwwwwhhhurjfjfiudkdhdhkrjfhfjhptghxusudgfhfdhydsyartsdyufhftsysduifogfiiffiydyycufkdytgysyseyydyyduudduydfefikdkeejdicttsysieoowowugagshxjkcjdjevwgyeixodlbbsgwdfehidigofojrehnfkcocoeppwiwufvvdjxifooejehedicisgeneifofjrjhehdhxirjvhejfjhrbrhjfbducjebkwpqosbhdhsvddhehueuwowpqpfugtbcihebdhdjgeyqiichhesweysyhy vhhhhhshdjfjhehehehehehuijrhfeds???????????????????????????????)GHJDJDJFKHRHDJDIEHDJKCHEEJFcyfjfjudffyewdjhsafvd

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Roses are red, Violets are violet, If you think Violets are blue you're an idiot because they're called violets for a reason.

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A deer looks at the ground and sees something strange. He wonders what it could be. A rabbit comes along and thinks the same. A badger promptly arrives after the rabbit and thinks the exact same. 4 seconds later they all get hit by a train.

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Why didn't the Mexican have a job? Because stereotypes made employers unjustly reluctant to hire a hard-working, competent man.

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Who won the race? I don't know look it up.

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Why couldn't Stephen Hawking run a marathon? He was struck by a very serious disease, otherwise known as refrigerator to the face, at the age of 5.

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How do u get an A on your test. U lock your teacher in the closet.

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"To tea to to to" -- russian tourist, asking for two tea to room 22. (DOKA)

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What did the cowboy say when he went into the car showroom in Germany? He commented on the models and designs, and asked to try a few out. Then he left, saying he would consider buying one but didn't want to commit too suddenly or too soon.

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Why do thieves shower before undertaking a robbery? Probably part of their morning routine.

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What happened to the lady? She queefed.

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why did the girl fall off the swing ? because she had no arms.

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Why did the leaf fall off the tree? Because it was Fall.

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What's brown and has four wheels? Wood, I lied about the wheels.

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Rebecca Black's career.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven's dad owned a shot gun.

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse then says nothing because horses cannot talk, only humans can talk.

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What is the difference between a fridge? I'm sorry, I have a severe mental disability and telling jokes is not... F'tang F'tang Zoop Pong Wii!

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A princess kisses a frog to transform it into a prince.. She is soon arrested for committing bestiality

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A bear walks into a bar. The bear is then shot by the bartender with the shotgun kept under the counter.

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What is white and smells like wood? White painted wood

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms! Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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