Hush, little baby, don't say a word, Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird. If that mockingbird won't sing, Mama's going to buy you a another mockingbird.

What's the funniest part of a tomato? The skin.

What's Donald Trump's favorite color? Green.

Why did the boy cut his hair? Because he was large.

what did the slave say to the slave owner i like your car

I'm on the Seafood Diet. I eat seafood to replace fatty red meats, in conjunction with fruit and vegetables.

Whats similar between an apple and a black guy there is no similarities between them

Two cows were in a feild, one said "moo" and the other said "i was going to say that!"

Why are you bored? because fungus grows in your eyeballs so you try to stab it out but you end up blind and dead lol

A man in a wheelchair walks into a bar... ...wait a second.

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a brand new Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock-knock Who's there? Not Jimmy

Q: how do you catch a bear? A: you dig a hole, fill the hole with ashes, surround the hole with peas, and when the bear comes to take a pea kick him in the ash hole

Why are the black people in Africa dying? Because the poverty rate is high and they don't have enough money to by simple things like medicine and mosquito nets to prevent AIDS, Malaria, and other infectious diseases.

Your mom is so poor; she doesn't have a job.

What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone...

Why couldn't Sally ride a bike? She was disabled

What's black, white, and red all over? Numerous different objects because many different things can posses a variety of colors, including the ones listed above.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

What do you get when ned puts toast in the toaster? A fucking massive sperm whale.

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A: A quadriplegic.

How do you confuse a chicken? Paint yourself black and throw seeds at it.

While your reading this. A man is robbing your home and sodomizing your dog

Hey how was your audition?" "yeah really good, I got in...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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