Bitch your as two-faced as Doduo

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. They both died of blood loss.

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Whats white and can't climb trees? Yogurt.

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What did the red apple say when it saw a black man an irish man, and an asian walk into a bar? nothing apples cant talk.

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When you say that Chuck Norris has counted to infinity twice. I say that you cant count to infinity because it isnt a quantifyable number

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what's the difference between eric bristow and colin baker? eric bristow is brilliant at darts.

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why did the roof cave in? It was not structurally sound do to poor architecture

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Why is the Mexican a gardener? He has a mental disability that makes him unable to do more than a simple task.

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A man walks into a bar Ouch He broke his penis So he ate it Then he saw a little boy They shaved their pubic hair together He raped the little boy He walked into another bar Double ouch

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Did you hear about my new Muslim friend? Hes the bomb!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it looking for food for it was starving to death.

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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Why was the man white? Because he wasn't black. All credit goes to Caravel.

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Where did Susie go after the explosion? I don't know: she was nowhere near the explosion at the time that it happened. She probably got up to use the bathroom.

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What mouse walks on two legs? Mickey Mouse. What bear walks on two legs? Winnie the Pooh. What duck walks on two legs? All of them, dumbass.

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Yesterday, upon the stair, I met a man who wasn't there. I saw him there again today; I've been sectioned. [L]

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When ducks fly in a V formation do you know why one side is longer than the other? Because there are more ducks on that side.

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What did Goldilocks say to the Three Bears? No one knows. Her remains were discovered three weeks later.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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what happened to the girl next door ? she was brutally murdered.

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger! Wrong. What doesn't kill you could leave you in a parapledgic state.

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A man goes to a gas station to pump gas in his car. After about 7 minutes, he leaves.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bike

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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