Mom: Are you going to jump of a cliff just cause your friends are? Kid: You got married to dad cause you were the last lonely whore left of all your friends. And you wanna talk to me about peer pressure. Mom: Go jump.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the man say to the other man. Hi

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Three construction workers are high up on a building when they decide to take their lunch break there. The three open their respective lunches, converse pleasantly, and enjoy the fine weather.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats the difference in car and a bicycle? One has an engine and drivetrain designed to run on gas and the other is powered by your output of work

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A Man Gets Cancer He eventually Loses all his hair and drops dead

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did one pile of dirt say to the other pile of dirt?? You're dirty

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the cow do when it got run over by a tractor? It died.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

One time at band camp, We practice playing our instruments and had fun.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Parent: Please, my son have sinned. Please cleanse him from his sins. Priest: Hmmm, it may be hard to cleanse him from his demons. You may leave him in my car today. We shall enter the dark chambers where we will battle your demons Parent: Thankyou Priest: Alone, in the dark. It will be painful for him, but he shall be cleansed *wink* Parent: whut?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man named Chuck walks into a bar. One of the patrons says, "Oh my god! You're Walker, Texas Ranger!" Chuck replies, "No, that's Chuck Norris. I'm Chuck Connors. I played the Rifleman." The man replies, "Wait, aren't you dead?"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if he tore his ACL last week trying out for wood chucking nationals? A: Woodchucks don't possess the ability to chuck wood, nor do they have ACLs.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby wearing a clown suit.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did hitler get for christmas??? Roughly 3 million dead jews in the ashtray

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a black lady with big boobs? Oh, wait, it's just a fat black guy.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

i did ur mom lol. thats the joke. : )

thumb_up thumb_down +3

2 blondes walk into bolemics anonymous.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's brown and hides in the closet? The Diarrhea of Anne Frank.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What has got 56 eyes, 1 leg and 3 arms ? I don't know but that's right behind you.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

there once was a man from Nantucket. I want to ride in a helicopter.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why doesnt your dad like barrack Obama? because your dad is straight, hes not into men

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops