Yo momma is So Fat? And isn't your cousin Chow Yun Fat? I think I know some of the Fat family. How are they all doing?

Q:What did Batman say to Robin just before they got into the Batmobile? A:"Robin get in the Batmobile"

Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet You have pancreatic cancer

How did little Jimmy survive the 5 story fall? He didn't

What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

What did the mental patient say to the apple? She didn't say anything because she was a catatonic schizophrenic.

What do you call a man who has a camera? a cameraman

Q: What's worse than getting jury duty? A: Getting herpies from a rabbit

So Helen Keller walks into a bar...

Q. How do you make your dog stop barking? A. Take it to the grocery store. Replace it with any popsicle in the fridge.

How many police does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they all beat the room for being black.

An Asian man fails a math test

What do you call a small chinese person? They prefer the term little person to the term midget.

what goes round , and round , and croaks? a blender in a frog.

why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a rapist

What happened when the engineering student studied for a physics final? They failed.

Why did the guy jump out of the plane? he was parachuting

why cant dinosaurs talk? because they're all dead.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because having been born Chick L. Sanders only three years before, his dream (as advertised by his dear old mother, Mrs Sanders (who was suffering from a poor but luckily passing bout of measles)) was to make it in showbiz. He was a poor chick, Chick, growing up in Indianapolis (the chick kicking capital of the world) but he learned how to cope and how to toughen up -- this chick, Chick, kicked when ticked off. After reaching the dear young age of three, this chick (still Chick) headed west to make it to Los Angeles. He arrived in Iowa a couple of years later, having grown stubble and achieved chick puberty. In search of pressing and more immediate desires, he raped a duckling. Although he knew such a deed was morally polarizing, he kept it out of his mind until he received a telegram detailing that his mother (Mrs Sanders) had been killed by another bout of measles that did not pass and proved ultimately fatal. Overcome with grief and regret, he castrated himself and told himself to never again seek pleasures of the flesh. Because of this action, he became forever known as Chick the Dickless. He worked in Des Moines for a time, but knew he had to continue on his journey to achieve his dreams. Crossing the Missouri, he found himself embarrassingly in Kansas, a place he did not want to go and was famed for its stoning of anything castrated. He avoided Topeka and traveled through some hills before getting hit by a twister. Chick the Dickless twisted until Chick clicked that a kick and a lick to the prick would hick him from such a predicament. He eventually landed in New Mexico, on the border of the Rio Grande because he forgot chickens could fly if they were castrated. Chick the Dickless flicked through a prickly dictionary and found he was not in Kansas anymore. He continued his journey west, eventually finding himself in the Copper Canyon. It was blisteringly hot and in the heat he forgot his own last name. He did, however, remember his nickname; Dickless. So he created a new persona under that unforgiving sun, even if the name was nicked from his nickname; Chick Dickless. In the heat, he realized he had no use for his heavy feathers and so tore them off himself, making him look like a skinny prick. Name-nicked Chick Dickless skinny prick shortened the Dickless down to Dick, because syllables waste breath. Name-nicked Chick Dick skinny prick licked his heat-blasted limbs to recover energy, using the memory of his mother and sheer will power to get out of Arizona. He finally arrived in California, just mere miles from Los Angeles. But he eventually came to a road that split him from the City of Angels. Name-nicked Chick Dick (skinny prick, who-licked limbs, tornado hick) was sick of obstacles. But it was the last one... So why did the chicken cross the road? Ask Mr Sanders, you lucky bastard.

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? I'm sleeping with your wife

Yo mama so fat that when she jumped into a pool she displaced more water than someone who was of a normal weight

A man was going to take his girlfriend to prom, and decided to pick up his suit from the dry cleaners. Unfortunately, there was a long line. He then went to pick up some flowers for his date, but there was a long flower line. Finally, he takes his date to prom and decides to get some punch for them.He returns with the refreshing beverage and the couple has a wonderful time.

Why did the girl stop smoking? Because her mum asked her to.

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, Fuzzy Wuzzy had cancer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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