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What's long, brown, and in the toilet? The chocolate bar I just threw in the toilet.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The man replies, "I was born with an extra chromosome."

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I haven't left my basement in 29 years

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Jimmy: I'm like hey, what's up, hello. Jon: I've already met you.

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what do you call a cross between lasagna and a human. weird

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why has kallum just changed clothes to speak to a counsellor because he's socially awkward and has no peers

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What happened to jimmy when he stepped on a rusty nail? He died of of tetanus.

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"What's up?" "A movie about an old man who takes his house to South America by tying balloons to it, who accidentally brings along a young boy with him and they have an adventure."

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What's worse than stabbing your eye with a fork? Stabbing both your eyes with a fork.

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Well judging by the fact that there's no actual door in between us I'm pretty sure you can decide who it is.." "'Well judging by the fact that there's no actual door in between us I'm pretty sure you can decide who it is' who?"

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What's worse than the Holocaust? This joke.

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punchline below punchline above

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Patient: "So what seems to be the problem doc? Doctor: "I'm afraid you have AIDS. I'm sorry."

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What's worse than a work in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Seeing the same joke repeated thousands of times on anti-joke.com.

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A duck walks into a bar *************************** Later that day the homeless man had duck for dinner.

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Mogok Papiti.

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Knock Knock there's a doorbell

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How many Woman does it take to change a lightbulb? none they had a back up lamp

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Ian Watkins was excited to attend the opening of the children's ward at the hospital today. It went well and the day was a success.

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If David has 40 chocolate bars and eats 35 what does David have now? Diabetes, David has diabetes.

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what do you call a cat that looks like a lion 7

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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