Yo momma's so hot I raped her and slit her throat afterwards and hid her body in a ditch.

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Man don't you hated when birds shit all over your car! Man I'm glad cows don't fly!

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Who can walk on water? Not the guy in the wheelchair.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Why is my girlfriend pregnant? We wanted an abortion

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?!, who's there?!!!, ya fucking asshole!!!, and quit knockin on my door!, my windows are fine!"

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Did you hear the joke about the butter? No.

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Q: What would George Washinton do if he was alive today? A: Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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Policeman: Knock, knock. Woman: Who's there? Policeman: The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband has been killed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause Magic Johnson has AIDS

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How do you kill a blonde? There are a variety of methods, but I prefer a fine mix of insecure clowns and pepto-bismol.

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A Penn State administrator walks in to a butt.

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Why did the baby cry? Because he fell off a refrigerator.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? I raped your mom and she swallowed my load, k

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why did the kid die? his mom shot him

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A black man walks into a store and buys a gun based upon the increasing crime rate in his area. He stops for lunch and heads home.

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i find your gravy quite lumpy.

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I like cheese. You like cheese. Have a nice day.

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What happened when the paraplegic man went into the bar? Nothing the man couldnt get into the bar because the bar has no wheelchair ramp.

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What has two legs and bleeds alot? Half a cat!

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the power to turn magnetism into light

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I baked a pie once. Guess what flavor it was. PIE FLAVOR!

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Man: Would you like to see someone Man 2: Sure Man: How bout the inside of an ambulance

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A middle aged man goes to a psychic. She tells him that he has prostate cancer, and his wife has been cheating on him for the past 3 years.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops