Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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What did Batman say to Superman before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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what do you call a polar bear in a bathtub? No soap, radio

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roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.

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Why did the bear eat a group of children? It was hungry.

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your asshole.

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What happened when a star exploded? It killed billions of other sentient beings.

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Why didn't the black man make it into heaven? No one did, there is no evidence supporting the existence of an afterlife.

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haha

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A dyslexic pervert asks to see a woman's bar. Then he is chased to the bra next door.

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Why couldn't the boy with no arms and no Legs swim? Because he was black.

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Why did the man eat the cat? I don't remember the punchline, but trust me it was hilarious.

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What did the arsonist shout out in the movie theater? Nothing. He set the exits ablaze and said absolutely nothing.

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Whats worse than getting in an arrow in the side of your neck Finding out there is a gas bill tied to it

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If boobs are round. And so are balls. Then i just cant figure out why the sky is blue?

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A horse walks into a bar. He called him Arthur. Those are two sentences.

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What do you call a gay dinosaur? Megasoreass What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Lickalottapuss What dou you call a gay dinosaurs dog? Megasoreass Rex

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Horse walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face. The horse unable to understand English shits on the floor and leaves

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, nobody could fit inside a pineapple, nor could a pineapple survive in the sea

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whats brown and half eaten? yeah an easter egg that a parent has given to there son/daughter before dinner

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Q. Why did the kid drop his tennis racket? A. Because he got run over by a tank!

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Whats black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? A miracle

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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