What's worse than getting a fly stuck up your nose? Been alone in a hospital room with Jimmy Saville.

you know what's worse than being grounded? AIDS

Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea. A: Tsunami victims.

whats worse than killing someone? finding out your mom is your dad

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from K.F.C

black people

What did the wife get her husband after he became a paraplegic in a car accident? Divorce papers.

Why did the chicken open door? It can't. Chickens don't have hands.

Your dad is so gay, he lovingly marries another man and selflessly adopts you.

Why did sally fall off the swings? Because she had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sally

A man goes to the hospital he says to the doctor while poking his leg it hurts here. Then he pokes his arm and here. Then his head and here. "Yes" the doctor says you've broken your finger.

If somebody stabs you in the forehead, you are likely to get injured.

Stranger at door: *Knock knock* Oliver Twist: Who's there? Stranger at door: Not your parents.

Knock Knock The doors already open

What do you call a 6 year old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor.

Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the gay's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

Bob Saget

DO U KNOW ABOUT THE BIRD BIRD BIRD, BIRD IS THE WORD? DON'T U KNOW ABOUT THE BIRD? EVERYOBODY KNOWS THAT THE BIRD IS THE WORD! Oh, no i did not know that the bird was the word.

Q: What were little Jonathon's grandmas last words before dying of Alzheimer's? A: Who are you?

My wife made me a sandwich

Q: Why can't Carl drive? A: Carl is a stone

What is Hitler's favourite Yu-Gi-Oh card? Blue Eyes, White Dragon.

interviewer: young man, do you think you can handle a variety of work? Young man: I ought to be able to. I’ve had 12 different jobs in 4 months.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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