Some people devote their life to talking in their head. Jesus christ.

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What's worse than a papercut? Dying

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Guy 1:Whats the difference between a towel and toilet paper? Guy2: I dont know Guy : SO IT WAS YOU!

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What's going to happen you? Your going to die just like everyone else in the world. Don't laugh, it's not funny

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How do you have problems paying your monthly mortgage if you live in a box emmanuel

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Why does a ginger have no friends? Because it is a non sentient horizontal stem used for seasoning food, and thus incapable of forming complex social and emotional bonds with conscious organisms.

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The Duck walks up to the lemonade stand and says to the man running the stand...Hey bum bum bum....How much is the lemonade

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A man was driving in his BMW one day when a mini passed him out on the fast lane. The BMW driver thought 'i can't have that!' so he sped up and overtook the mini. Unfortunately he wasn't paying attention and he drove into the back of a school bus. Ironically the bus contained the mini driver's 3 daughters, he was driving so fast because they had forgotten to bring their lunch and he was trying to catch up with the bus so he could give them their sandwiches. There were no survivors of the crash, except for the mini driver.

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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What did the asian do with his homework? finish it. as is expected from children his age.

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A man visits an anti joke site looking for some humor. realizing that its not funny, he closes the window.

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What did the munchy alzhemiers farmer say about his missing tractor? Where's my tators?

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Person One: Knock Knock Person Two: Whos there? Person One: You can see its obviously me because theres not really a door there.

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who is 2 chainz? no one 2 chains is just 2 chains. spelled with an "s" not a "z"

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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A man with glasses and a cane walks out if a clothing store and accidentally bumps into a woman, knocking his hat off "Can't you watch where you're going?" the woman asks. The man then slaps her, knocking her to the ground. He picks up his new designer fedora, and drives off in his $90,000 Cadillac. The woman, after dusting herself off, gets the guy's plates, convinces a few witnesses to testify against the man, and informs the authorities of an assault. He was later arrested for assault as well as pimping and soliciting sex. He is found guilty in a court of law and is sentenced to 2-5 years in prison, and is doled a hefty fine.

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Why was the black man killed? He committed a serious crime and was issued the death penalty.

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A man with a mustache enters your parents home to tell them you were kidnapped and taken to the pier 1 hour away. They leave and he goes upstairs to rape you for 1 hour. Never trust people with mustaches.

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How many people were trampled on Black Friday this year? Not enough.

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So there's this moose right? And he walks into the store and asks where the potatoes are. And the cashier lady says aisle 5. So the moose walks to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because skeletons cannot live on their own and there is no such thing as a skeleton that can walk across roads without muscles.

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WHAT THE BABIES?!

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Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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