There once was an old lady who lived in a shoe. She had so many children, her vagina fell off.

How do you confuse Helen Keller? You don't, she's dead.

I'm HIV positive.

What's better than your first Hanukkah? Not being a Jew.

Why do black guys have big dicks? God felt bad putting pubes on their head

why did the duck cross the road? because his d**k was stuck in the chickens a**....

Why'd the asian man cross the road? I dont know, who cares? Just leave the guy alone

why did the girl ask for food? because she was hungry and hadnt eaten in days.

what's funnier then 15? definitely not 14

What do you call a dinosaur that doesn't lay eggs? A male dinosaur

Why couldn't the black man support his family? He was the youngest child of 3 and already had a caring and supporting mother and father.

Why'd the chicken cross the road? Because the light was green.

How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Broken fridge.

Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

How do you kill a diabetic? Take away their insuline

what porn does a nugget watch nugget porn.

Obama being reelected.

A vegetarian walked into a butcher Luckily he realized where he was and walked out!

Why did the chicken cross the roard? There were no cars in the immediate vacinity and the chicken therefore came to a logical conclusion that it was a rational theorem on which crossing the road could be based.

Why did the cop pull over the car full of black people? Because, they were going 65 in a 35 mile per hour speed limit zone, Which is against the law.

Why did the man enter the fridge? He was hot Why is the man not in the chicken shop Hes in the fridge

Q: Why was the man upset? A: He was kidnapped. Two cruel men tied him to a chair in an unknown location. This man was mistaken for someone who was planning to steal a big drug shipment. They beat him unmerciful, shocked him, and hit him in the head with a hammer, and threw him out in the street, with the belief of his death occurring. A driver stopped to help the man into the nearby hospital. The man was questioned about the physical appearance and whereabouts of these criminals. He remembered nothing, and sadly, they got away with this horrible crime.

A local police officer pulls up to tell you something. Listen carefully: Three zebras have been spotted crossing the Mexican border. He goes into his truck, pulls out a can of marbles, peanut butter, seven velcro straps and a rhino horn covered in glitter. Your mission is simple: Kill the zebras using your equipment. You will be rewarded if you have enough peanut butter to make a sandwich after. Go now... Get it done.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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