My grandmother's zodiac sign was cancer, and she was killed by a giant crab.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

2 guys shot up a morgue..... 13 bodies remain dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call a straight A student that takes 6 Vicodin's, 5 Percocet's, and 7 Adderalls? I don't know, but he will most likely die of drug overdose.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Jimmy: Knock Knock Nick: Whose there? Jimmy: Joe Nick: Joe Who? Jimmy: Joe Mamma Nick: No shes dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call it, when a jew makes fun of a black guy? Racism.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why didn't the girl's ring fit? She had no fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

the lemon was sweet.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no hands. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call an Asian man without any clothes on? -naked

thumb_up thumb_down +20

why did the depressed man jump off the bridge? He likes bungie jumping, and wanted to cheer himself up by doing one of his favorite hobbies

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did obama say to the united states of america YES WE CAN

thumb_up thumb_down +20

John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. John runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

thumb_up thumb_down +20

The power of Mindfuck: What if you can only walk left when you are right? And if you can walk right when you are the only one left? What is left when everything is right? Moral: Create a right world by taking the left road? YOU PIECE OF FILTH!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A man on an airplane is extremely frustrated by a small, screaming child. He puts on his headphones and listens to music.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q - What do you call a bunch of white people on a bench? A - The nba - Cool Bean

thumb_up thumb_down +20

There was once a little boy... Boy: Daddy, I am so proud of you that when I grow up I want to be just like you! God: Son how dareth thou! That is a horribleth and shameful wish! I just called the adoption agency thy areth noteth my... er.. sonneth anymoreth! NOW GO TO HELL! Oh, and you get same powers as I by the way, just for Good measure or something, except I can destroy you whenever I want, I just do not want to because your evil will hopefully make me look good in comparison after I rid the world of the first testament anyways :P Boy: Yay? :( Where is hell by the way? Moral: That little boy grew up to become... SUPERMAN! While Satan never discovered what hell was since its a concept added by corrupt priests around the 1700`s in order to scare people into following their God instead.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did Quinn yell at his group project partner? Because he hated him.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the black man say before he went to sleep? im going to sleep

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was a busy highway it was hit before making it to halfway.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A man told his daughter not to give his dog coffee. His daughter turned and told him that she was his nurse and his alzheimers is getting worse.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Know whats worse than a worm in your apple? Getting fridges thrown at you.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops