Where did Betsy go after the explosion? Everywhere

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A drunk guy walks out of an AA meeting.

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A blonde goes in an electronic store. She buys a TV and leaves.

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What time is it when an elephant steps on your watch? Time to go to the hospital and get treated for a shattered wrist.

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What do grass and cows have in common? They both say "moo" except for grass

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I wanted to burn alot of calories so i found a fat kid and set him on fire. :3

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"Sh*t!" cursed the man. "You're such a potty mouth!" replied the unamused toilet.

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What do friends and trees have in common? They will fall over if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

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Moose A: What do you call a moose with diapers on its head? Moose B: Me.

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how do you get lady gaga to wake up in the morning? Hit her with a brick

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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what did one wall say to another wall? nothing walls cant talk

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hello

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Well you should really try some.

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A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H2O." The second man, quite thirsty, says "I would like some H2O too." The second man dies because the bartender is a serial killer and gave the man the hydrogen peroxide he ordered. The first man is killed with a shovel.

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im a policeman the car infront of me had a foot hanging out of the trunk. i pulled him over. i closed the trunk and proceeded to inform him of the dangers of open trunks.

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Where was the declaration of independes? At the bottom

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Why could the red heading boy sing higher notes than the blonde headed boy? He was castrated at birth.

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why is pie good. because it just is.

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Whats black,White and Asian? everything we are all equal

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How do you make a Chef cry? You kill his family.

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I'll have a chocolate milkshake, hold the onions.

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What do you call a man with only one eye? Half blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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