Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But here's my number, So call me anytime you're free, but I can't guarantee I will answer because I could be at work.

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Q: What do you get when a black man dates a white lady? A: A perfectly acceptable relationship.

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(waving left hand) Why doesn't Queen Elizabeth wave with this hand? Why? Because this is my hand.

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why was the man on the roof? he was about to commit suicide.

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What is better than winning a gold medal at the parolympic games? Having two legs!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was standing next to you.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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The awkard moment when you realize you either have cancer, are pregnant, or a combination of the two.

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A kangaroo walks into a bar and says "Lipstick is the blood of all wounds." The bartender does not know how the kangaroo said this or why.

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If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? Quite obviously, still quizzical, being that tests are just longer, harder quizzes.

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A cat walks into a bar and orders a bowl of milk. Well, okay, it doesn't actually order it. It more of meows in a begging fashion and the bartender, being a kind individual, gets the lost animal a bowl of milk. But who's to argue semantics?

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Q: What said the first bagel to the other? A: Nothing! Bagels can't talk!

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Im cute hehehee

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Why was the guy with six fingers called John? His name was John.

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Person 1: 'Ask me if I'm a tree' Person 2: 'Are you a tree?' Person 1: 'No.'

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What do you get when you cross a peanut and a snake? peanutsnake

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari? I ain't got a Ferrari in my car.

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It's the police sir. There's been an accident.

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What's the difference between a zit and a priest? These two things are so different that I couldn't list all of the differences in this text box.

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- Why Justin Bieber can't login to Facebook? - Because he forgot the password.

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What did the dinosaur and John Wayne say to the Easter Bunny? Nothing, they're both dead and the Easter Bunny isn't real.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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KENNAH CAMPIONS LAUGH

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what do you call a toddler with a gun? uninteresting

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops