Sidney Crosby comes face-to-face with Alex Ovechkin. The Penguins were playing the Capitals.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What is Helen Keller's favorite color? Velcro

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did Bert go to the doctor? He had an appointment.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

i like my babies how i like my potatoes..... skinned

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call a fish with no eyes? a fish:)

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why'd the black man smell awful... Because he hadn't showered in multiple days

thumb_up thumb_down +27

I Have A Dog Named Woof Woof A Chicken Called Clucky A Cow Named Moo And A Pig Named Oink Lol Jks I Was Talking About My Wife

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call Jake Morter? Jake Morter

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Q: What's more silly than the idea of a wealthy, successful black man? A: A Clown

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do cows in Africa say? Moo

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A horse walks into a bar, and a man says "Hey, why the long face?" The horse calmly turns to him and replies, "Because I'm a horse you drunk moron."

thumb_up thumb_down +27

knock knock who's there... you you who who the fuck are you

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Q: Why couldn't the ginger play soul music ? A: He couldn't hit the right notes

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

thumb_up thumb_down +27

"Lassie, Lassie, come quick! Timmy is in the well!" "I'm a dog," replies Lassie. "You folks have ropes, ladders, and opposable thumbs. What the hell could I possibly do to help?" With that final act of disobedience, Lassie was turned into fertilizer.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. One polar says to the other, "Pass the soap please." And the other polar bear says, "No soap, radio!"

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What is the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer while the other is just a water melon.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the wife scream when she saw her husband? Because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do you scare a black man? Burn his house down.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Where's the best place to buy moon bars? Michael Toal

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops