I love you

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- Knock knock - Who's th.....AIDS

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A Jew, Christian and a Muslim walk into a bar. They have fun there a good time and then they go home.

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Your mom is so fat that her Body Mass Index is 30,?which is considered obese, she should really try to lose some weight.

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What's green, brown, red, and is covered with crumbs in a ditch on the side of the road? A girl-scout who got hit by a car...

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Dude, you're playing call of duty by yourself and in last place...HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE!!??

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what is big, grey and sits in the middle of a field. A filing cabinet

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A tree falls over on an old woman. Mysteriously, the woman lifts the tree up and walks away. A man is amazed by this, so he goes and asks the woman how she managed to lift the whole tree. She tells the man that he is an idiot an walks away. Later inspecting the tree, he realizes it is a small sapling weighing no less than 10 pounds

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Why does a squirel swim on his back? Because it was trying to keep his nuts clean

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What do you call a guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

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Your mom is so nce that when you got into college she taught you to be more independent so you could succeed later in life.

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Q: How many jews can you fit in a car? A: Well, it varies on the size of the car and the size of the people entering the car so in reality there is no clear answer due to the lack of information given.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Postman Will you sign hear please he said Oh my toaster came

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What did the foreigners do to pass time? They blew up the twin towers.

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What's worse than having a mouth full of molars? A pole through your chest.

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New mission: refuse this mission

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Dieing in a hole.

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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How can you tell if someone's a Vegan? It will probably come up in conversation, usually during the planning phase of a trip to a restaurant.

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How do you blindfold a Chinese man? With floss.

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Whats the saddest part about the sandy hook shooting? There were still bullets in the clip... Im going to hell by the way.

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why do prostitutes do what they do? Because they have abusive fathers who always used them as sex slaves as children

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What is black and blue and red all over? My wife.

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What's a cow's fovorite vacation spot? Farmyard animals do not receive vacations, they have long hours, no pay, and get eaten upon death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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