What was the only animal to not board the ark in pairs? Loads of animals because it didn't happen.

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Q: How do you call a group of animals? A: Llama.

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The boy wakes up and says "I'm feeling kind of fishy today." The dad come into the sea anemone and says that's because you are, Nemo.

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the holocaust

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A man walks into a bar And compliments the bartender for his great service

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What goes 100 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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What is the deferince between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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A mum and a dad were having guests round for dinner. The daughter overheard them arguing. Dad was calling mum a b*tch and mum was calling dad a b*stard. The daughter asked them what it meant and they just said, "oh, it just means ladies and gentlemen". Later, when mum was doing her makeup, she dropped it and said oh "sh*t". Daughter asked what it meant and mum replked "it's just another word for makeup". After that, dad dropped the turkey and said "oh, F*ck!" Daughter asked what it meant and he replied "its another word for cooking". When the guests arrived, the daughter answered the door, and said "hello b*tches and b*stards. Mums upstairs stuffing sh*t on her face and dads in the kitchen f*cking the turkey".

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Jesus walks on water, Humans are 70% water, I can walk on humans, Therefore i am 70% Jesus.

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What happened when the blind man was running toward a cliff. He stopped before he fell.

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Today is March 22.

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How did the dinosaurs die???? How the Heck do I kno?

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Boy: Why is the sky blue? Man: Because it is

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Q: What's black, long, and floppy? A: Black Licorice

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Did you hear about the Australian man who was jumped by a gang of Americans with knifes? He had his cash and possessions stolen from him, and had to spend two weeks in hospital due to stab wounds.

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Q. what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? A. nothing you done told her twice already

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what's a fish with no eyes and out of water? its just a fish

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what is big, grey and sits in the middle of a field. A filing cabinet

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a woman goes to an abortion clinic, kills a baby and still leaves pregnant.

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Why did the Mexican cut his neighbor's lawn? His neighbor cut his lawn the previous week.

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what happened to the little kid on a bicycle? Nothing

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someone says they've been "dying laughing"... no they haven't; they're quite capable of still breathing and functioning in every day life.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? You put her on a table and slowly pull her limbs off

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Women's rights.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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