Why did the guy hate the man that said,"I respect you?'' Because the man was Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

The only thing worse than finding a repeated joke on Anti-Joke is finding a REAL joke on Anti-Joke

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Hey, I just met you And this is crazy This song doesn't rhyme PENIS

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a boy with one eye and no arms. -Mean names.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Covert trance, black Ops, and something I kinda made up myself. The first two are basically using suggestions without the victim being aware of it, that is how that famous bank robber that just asks nicely for all the cash and gets it succeeds. The other is tricking the "allmighty" subconcious and again, my own invention people claim its called "this and that", I know, because I coined most of the terms. Anyway, you put people into a deep state of trance, you tell them to take a step forward into the sea, and well, you actually led them down the top of a skyscraper or something fun... "Now... Suck on the lollipop I have between my, okay ill stop"

thumb_up thumb_down -14

There once was a man from Nantucket. He decided to sail to Portland. He cast off and was never seen again.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What happens when you give a Jew an iPhone? He says thank you and gives you a hug.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the farmer that lost his tractor say? Wheres my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are red, violets are purple.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

. HAHAHAHA I have control of you I don't enjoy that picture.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why are women so obsessed with not having penises? I'm serious. Imagine an ordinary woman out there, who is not doing any of the activities that the women-not-having-penises thing is famous for. But I can pretty much guarantee that under her clothes at that very moment, she isn't having a penis. And for no good reason. Sometimes I suspect women keep up the no-penis thing even in their sleep. Frankly, I find that creepy. Why are women so obsessed with not having penises?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

So a guy is on his way to work and he nearly gets hit by a bus. He sticks his middle finger up at the bus driver but a couple seconds later he realized that it was the same bus he was supposed to get on so he apologized to the bus driver and got on the bus. He was 15 minutes late for the 420th time this week so he was fired from his job and went back home. On his way home he was not allowed on the bus because he left his oyster card somewhere so he had to walk home. 69 minutes later he arrives home to his wife and kids. What did the man say to his wife when he got back home? "Hi."

thumb_up thumb_down -14

antonio is ssooo shexy and smokes

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what is the difference between the dead baby and the sandwich? i don't put my penis into the sandwich before i eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Two Jews walked into a bar. Then bought it.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

lipstick pig

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did Timmy fall off his swing? The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what happens when you piss on a dead monkey nothing you just lose the urge to pee O.o

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q. What do you get if you cross a suspicious person with a paranoid person? A. Who wants to know

thumb_up thumb_down -14

People who are addicted to brake fluid just can't stop.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the boy go back in time? He didn't. He was mutilated by rabid apes.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: How did the blonde girl get into Harvard? A: hard work, dedication, and a perfect SAT score.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops