Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Who are you?

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Knock knock Who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave Smith.

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What did the Jew say right before a boy threw a quarter in a fountain? Make a wish.

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I like peanuts. I like peanuts. I like peanuts. I'm allergic to peanuts. DAMIT

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Smeg...

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What's worse than a trash can of dead babies? The one at the bottom that has to eat it's way out.

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How do you confuse a blond? Dress up as Lady Gaga and yell "Ni!" in her face.

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Why did the boy drop the ice cream? Because he had a seizure.

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Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because 7, 8, 9

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What happens to a fish with no fin on the right side? It repeatedly swims in a circle.

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Q: What did the boy say to his mum when he saw a Lion A: Hey mum that's a Lion

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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What is duke oxtoby? legend.

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What do you get when you cross an African, a white person, an Asian and a Spaniard? Society's worst nightmare

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Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He had a stroke.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? You Know. You Know who?.......GOODBYE!

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So a man walks into a bar. Well, he trips over it because it was very low to the ground and he didn't see it.

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Why did the elephant fall down? He was shot by poachers.

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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What's worse then a blind driver? A girl driver

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What do you call a rollercoaster without a coaster? A roller

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What's brown and sticky? Anal

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what did the kid say when he didnt see the ice and sliped and broke his arm ouch that beep hurt

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So, today I was walking down the street... I met a black guy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops