what do u call a lesbian with long hair? a long haired lesbian.

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What did the man in need of a prosthetic arm get from the hospital? A diagnosis for cancer.

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How many Frenchmen does it take to surrender? Probably just one.

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Mike and Richard were walking down the street together Richard left because of Mike's garlic breath

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't know I asked you

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What do Austrailian cows say? Moo.

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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Beating cancer. Guess Steve Jobs they didn't make an app for that.

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Why can't the T-rex clap? Because it's extinct

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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Why did the kid give a bad presentation in class? He knew basically nothing about the topic, and on top of that had a large erection.

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If you give a mouse a cookie... ...you're destroying its natural diet. It might die.

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Yesterday I was diagnosed with Depression... It made me sad.

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Why couldnt the dog bark? The dog didnt exist.

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This is no joke. Well, I did warn you.

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I have never liked jokes. They promote laughter, which is the music of Satan strangling hairy children and wildebeast. I'd like to thank anti-joke.com for their work in the struggle against hilarity.

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The ULTIMATE Street Fighter shotokan safety guide one Turbo masters tournament X Revenge Kombat Super Ultimate Alpha Omega F*** Y** Edition! 1. I case an attack breaks both your legs, use your last remaining strength in order to kick the air with one leg, while keeping the other one straight down, then immediatedly yell MYLEGSARBROKEN! In order to receive medical attention. And please remember: If Hadou can, then you Sure can! 2. DLC ONLY 3 DLC ONLY 4. DLC Only. ...hayball rolls trough... 9001: DLC only

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your mama so fat she has a low self esteem

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a pineapple? There will be no funeral for the pineapple..

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yo mamma so fat that when she goes out in high heels she comes back in flip flops

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A Chinese kid fails his math test.

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Legal Mexicans in Texas

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What do Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton, and Pamela Anderson all have in common? All of their last names end with an "n"

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Why couldn't the girl climb out of the pool? She drowned

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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