Why Couldn't the pirates see the movie? Because the mall strictly enforced local curfew laws ; and one of the pirates was unable to provide a valid form of identification.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

If God gives you lemons you find a new God

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did Helen Keller say when she fell into a well? Nothing. She died upon impact and her family mourned her death for years.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

KARMA KARMA KARMA KARMA CHAMELEON

thumb_up thumb_down -6

mary had a little lamb it's fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went it did a massive shit

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you stop a baby alien from crying? Watch what its mother does to soothe it and then try and copy that.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

"Have you guys ever seen Derrek Ashmores sisters? They are DTF if you know what I mean" - Jesse Ziegenbein

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How much cocain did Charlie sheen do? Enough to kill 2 and a half men

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Your mother is so fat, that recent test results have proved she is morbidly obese.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Where do you find a dog? At a pet store.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what is yellow with red all over tweety in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Take this and put it- No.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you get a woman out of a car? You drive it into a river and her body will float to the top.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

All the other dinosaurs were laughing and teasing the tyrannosaurus because of his tiny arms. They left and the T.rex was sobbing uncontrollably next to a giant fern. "What's the matter little fellow?" said Jesus. The crying dinosaur looked down and said "I That's the end of my stupid puppet show, cuz I couldn't think of anything a blubbering dinosaur would say to our Lord and saviour.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you get a chicken to cross the road? Get him in the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What happened when the black man approached a dinosaur? Nothing, for dinosaurs were eradicated from the face of the earth 135 million years ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the horse escape from his stable? He didn't. He stayed there all night and his owner took him out the next day as the weather was beautiful.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the little girl stop licking her Popsicle? A psychopath cut off her tongue.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what do you get if you put in a pan- a raw chicken, a lemon, assorted vegetables, onions, maybe some soy sauce, and a little olive oil then place this pan into an oven for around two hours, allowing the chicken to moisten. then serve with the assorted vegetable .supper.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what do fish smoke? sea weed

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What was Helen Keller's favorite activity? fingering herself...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did 'Mister Love' get arrested? Clue: One of the most ironic things ever You can guess

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Yo' momma so fat she buys clothingthat is bigger than most other people's clothing

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Coach: Hey, you missed the team meeting today, but I wanted to let you know we've had a number of changes to the lineup. Player: Really? Who's on first? Coach: That's right. A man with the unlikely name of Mr. Who is on first. We also have Mr. What on second, and Mr. I Don't Know is on third. The rest of the team is the same. Player: Oh. People have weird names now. But I'm sure they're great guys. Thanks for explaining that. Coach: Any time. Don't mention it.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops