How can you tell if a substance is an acid or a base just by looking at it? You can't. pH or Litmus paper would be necessary in order to determine whether a substance is an acid or a base.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what do get when you throw a penny in between a jew and a mexican? nothing besides one less penny

thumb_up thumb_down -13

"Hello, is this the Krusty Krab?" "No, this is Patrick."

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Friends are like potatoes, when you eat them, they die.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red Violets are blue Actually, no they're not. They're VIOLET. That's why they're called that. If they were blue, they would be called "Blues", or something of a similar nature. Don't be dumb.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A fat cat sits on the ground staring up at a fence. The fence stares down at the cat and laughs.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

whats worse than having no life? having no life and reading internet jokes all day!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How many men do you have to have sex with to show that you're gay? But, I'm a woman!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

how do you get your son or daughters attention? break down the door to their room and promptly begin beating them with a wooden baseball and then tie them up to a chair and torture them for 24 hours.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

3 like an eel

thumb_up thumb_down -15

There is a newly wed couple, a biker and his biker lady friends. The newly wed man says to his wife, "Pass the honey, honey". One of the biker chicks looks over. Five minutes later the man says to his wife, "Pass the sugar, sugar". They biker chick looks back at them and then asks the biker man, "Why don't you treat us like that?" " You know your right. Pass the bacon... lovely". And from that day on the bikers lived in peace and harmony.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the city on the other side. He hoped he could find work in one of the city's cheap factories. He needed money for his family: he could not bear to see them slowly starve for any longer. If he could get a lowly-paid job he may be able to just sustain them. But he knew it could not last for long. He would probably die on the streets or in the slums, cold, lonely and starving. But it was a risk worth taking - he could not see his own family waste slowly away like so many of his friends had.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did Charlie do when he lost his golden ticket? He killed his grandpa to get it back.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

An Asian, a white man and a black man were running in a race. The Asian won and the black man came second due to his lack of training and motivation over the past couple of months.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I know there are, its not the illuminati, its not reptilian shapeshifters, nor Gods politicians nor the human condition. Its society today as it stands, they did not have the right to attack us, but if we had surpassed them, they would have lost all power, they are the relics of the past, and no matter how many of them stand, they do not grow, and what does not grow, stagnates until it finally dies. Lose hope in people most all you want, but not in the few that truly believe in you for all the good reasons in the world, perhaps we are idealists, or maybe we know that with you by our side, what we see as ideals, is something you can make come true.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

burn baby burn your nanas burning

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you calk a couple of friends hanging out? An intimate get-together.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are red Violets are blue I kill children dont worry about it

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the chicken cross the road? Boom! Splat! You'll never know.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are gray Violets are gray ROFL I'm a dog

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you confuse a blonde? The same way you confuse a brunette or redhead, hair color has nothing to do with an individual's intelligence.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the rake say to the shovel? Nothing, they're both inanimate objects.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? Nothing. He won't get them for the rest of his life.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What is furry, red, and flat? Road kill.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops