What rhymes with float,boat,moat,coat and goat but can not be on a boat, can not float, can not be in a moat, can not be on a coat and can not ride a goat? A zoat because it's not a real word and therefore is incapable of doing any of those things.

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Why was the boy drinking toilet water? Because he was receiving a violent swirly. He then went home and killed himself.

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Making jokes about 9/11 is just plane wrong.

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Why did the priest take a little boy into the back room? To talk about the boy's future.

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25

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watch me nae nae

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Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? She's dead.

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Whats the sad thing about 4 black guys going over a cliff in a car? It was my car!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself at night.

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What's up? The sky. What's down? Your mom: she was stabbed

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What do you call a black man standing on top of a church? "Holy-Shit."

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Where do five gay guys walk? Where ever they choose to. this is a free country, where people are free to travel as they please, despite what their sexual orientation may be. Jerk.

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What do you call a black person living in the US? An African American.

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How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Polity ask him to stop.

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While teaching her second grade class, Mrs. Peets asks the class a question from last night's homework, "OK class, what did you get for number five, 5+12=?" A kid in the back raises his hand slowly. "Yes James?", said the teacher. The kid in the back says, "My dick is as hard as a rock, Mrs. Peets."

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Doctor Doctor i have a shoe in my braces. I bet it smells haha.

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Why did John McCain lose the election? He did not get as many votes as Barack Obama.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Anal.

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Why couldn't the hobo buy any clothes? They did not have his size available.

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What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

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A black guy and a white guy both interview for a job. The black guy gets the job because he is college educated and highly qualified.

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Knock knock Who's there? Be Be who? Be yourself

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock Who's there Not Sarah

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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