What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A man walked into doctors and said, “Doctor help! My arms have stopped working” to which the receptionist replied, “I’m not the doctor and you need to make an appointment.”

thumb_up thumb_down -32

How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

So 3 Jews walk into a bar, I lied, it was a gas chamber.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Q:what has four legs, is green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A:a pool table

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Mitt Romney is in the mormon mafia has magic underpants and invented Obama Care but he still lost to a Black guy Who is a fine president.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Jeremy has 8 apples. Susie has 3. how much does Jason have? Purple because aliens don't like grapes.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Chuck Norris can right-click with a mac mouse

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did the Billy flunk the test? His parents were killed in a refridgerator

thumb_up thumb_down -32

uhyuyuyhyuuuhuyuhh rice crispies

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Yo momma's so fat she got her own zip code! except she doesn't because zip codes are reserved for much larger areas than that of your mother.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock! Who's there? The chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What do you get when you cross batman and superman? One egotesticul idiot SOB aka mofo ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

thumb_up thumb_down -34

penispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenis

thumb_up thumb_down -34

im in stttttttttiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttttttttccccccccccccchhhhhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssssss

thumb_up thumb_down -34

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Q: what's blue and kills you when it falls from the sky? A: a whale no shit

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Dick in your vagina fuck cock cunt shit

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Two swallows migrate to Africa. One swallows initiates the conversation, that's when the other catch fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Knock Knock. Did someone outside the front door just say "Knock Knock"?

thumb_up thumb_down -36

I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road without their motives being questioned.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Roses are blue Violets are red I'm colorblind

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why did a vampire climb Mount Everest in the middle of the night on his birthday in September?

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Friend: What do you call a farting dog? Me: A canine releasing built up pressure as a result of excess carbon-based gases produced by the synthesizing and decompositional digestive reactions in the stomach and intestines. Friend: ... Who is a nerd, pointless, has no social life, and cant take a joke? Me: No one. No one but you is that exceptionally lacking in character.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops